Mentorship: On Not Doing It Alone
I got this thing with pride and a fear of failure (or is it really success?). I mean, seriously, it's that thing that always gets in my way just as I'm about to cross the finish line.
Here's a real life bat-shit crazy Melinda example: I am working on a proposal for a conference. I do all of the work. I make an outline. I make a rough draft. I even get feedback from others. I edit. I finalize the document. And then, when it's time to press that little submit button, that little voice pops up in my head and says, Why would they want you to present at their conference? Do you see the other people on their site? You don't have the degrees. Your experience isn't even comporable. Stay in your slow lane, Barbosa.
Every-fuckin-time.
But you know what is louder than that little voice? The Melinda Squad. They are an ever-growing team of people, made up of friends, family members, and colleagues, who drown out that self-doubt. But as you know, every team has their starting line-up, and on mine, it's a team of mentors that keep me in check.
I had a mentor and now current supervisor (HELL YEAH!) say this to me, "When I meet with you, I'm not looking at you now, I am looking at the woman you are going to be in 5 years. That's the only person I am talking to." What a way to be seen, huh? Makes me weep whenever I think about it. But that's it, that is mentorship. You deserve to have someone in your life that is invested in you. Do you have that person? Here's a journaling exercise to get you thinking about how mentorship could fit into your life this year:
Journaling Prompt:
1. What is that thing that always gets in your way (examples: time management, lack of resources, motivation, etc)? How have you seen that thing manifest in your work in the past three months?
2. What would look different about your work (and maybe even in your life) if that thing just disappeared?
3. Who are the people in your life who know about that thing? List the names.
4. Who is a person in your current professional network you would love to sit down and talk to for an hour? What would you talk about? What would you ask them? What would you want them to ask you?
Depending on what you write about, this could get deep. For some of us, our barriers are rooted in trauma (hand raised all the way up over here) and for others it's about a lack access to resources (education, skills, etc). This year will be better because you're not going to do it alone. Whatever has been getting in your way, you're going to put together a team of people to push that boulder off the road. This year you're going to have someone on speed dial. This year you're going to have coffee dates with people who are committed to your growth. This year, you're not going to do it alone.
And if you can't think of anyone to be on your team yet, sign me up! I'll be on your squad.
P.S. Shoutout to the ever growing Melinda Squad: Melina, Melissa, Vanda, Barbara and the many others who have yet to receive their official game day jerseys!